Eons and Ages ago……. Trillions of Light years away and gazillions of years ago, there was this enormous explosion out of which came all sorts of crap. To the freshly born neutrino, it sounded like a big noiseless Bang!!!!
Let’s skip on to some ten thousand years ago. Lets assume that out of nowhere, through some mysterious collection of highly unlikely probabilistic coincidences……let’s call this phenomenon "Dog"….sprung to life four humans on a beautiful drop-shaped inhabited island. For the sake of convention……let’s call them :
- Thota, a humble and down to earth yet stolid one,
- Narasimha, a strong man with muscular hands yet with brains the size of a pea
- Krishna, a person with a potbelly and snake eyes …
- Chaitanya, one with kingly grace and quite intelligent though a bit arrogant and obnoxious.
Just as they started exploring the island, they heard a low grumbling…and Krishna moaned,” Ouch..……my stomach hurts. I think we are supposed to eat something.” Chaitanya started searching for something to eat…..and found a mango tree. He plucked one …tasted it to find if poisonous and gave it to Krishna. “Mmmmmango… is quite tasty!!! May Dog shine on you Chaitanya….I owe you one.”
As they moved on ….they found a group of local inhabited people, naked…walking on all fours.. eating off the leg of a dead person. Unfortunately, Krishna had a degree of Hemophobia(fear of blood, my own word of course)…he started shouting in a deep rumbling voice…out of fear….”YOU UNCULTURED CANNIBALS…May the Almighty DOG smite thee.”
Unfortunately for the locals and quite handy for Krishna, out of sheer coincidence…the sky lighted up with a thunderous lightening. The locals cringed in fear and started wailing “Ve surry surry …Murcy Murcy Ve. Stup skylights…OW ve fallll ar ballies?” assuming it was Krishna's anger that brought upon the thunder. {we are sorry, mercy us... how do we fill our hunger??.....} ...Thota, who was otherwise engaged in wrapping up the dead person in a banana leaf, produced the half eaten fruit that Krishna threw away and gave it to the nearest person. The new taste of the fresh fruit was simply wondrous to the locals. They adapted to the way of eating fruits instead of cannibalism. The new outsiders were accepted by the tribe and were revered.
Unfortunately for the locals and quite handy for Krishna, out of sheer coincidence…the sky lighted up with a thunderous lightening. The locals cringed in fear and started wailing “Ve surry surry …Murcy Murcy Ve. Stup skylights…OW ve fallll ar ballies?” assuming it was Krishna's anger that brought upon the thunder. {we are sorry, mercy us... how do we fill our hunger??.....} ...Thota, who was otherwise engaged in wrapping up the dead person in a banana leaf, produced the half eaten fruit that Krishna threw away and gave it to the nearest person. The new taste of the fresh fruit was simply wondrous to the locals. They adapted to the way of eating fruits instead of cannibalism. The new outsiders were accepted by the tribe and were revered.
The very next day….a powerful storm blew over the island. The locals looked up to the FOUR for some protection from the sky winds...Krishna started rambling,“this is the punishment for what you have done yesterday. Start praying for DOG'S mercy.” ……. the cannibals started chanting, “dog....dog......god ..god”……… “Blasphemy…not ‘god’ you fools…its 'Dog'.”, shouted Krishna in utter despair. Meanwhile Chaitanya was thinking on some way to escape the fury of the storm. Upon watching the locals flock around a nearby tree to escape the rain, Chaitanya got a wonderful idea. He thought, “what if I make someone construct a permanent protection similar to what is offered by the tree?”. He ordered the well-built Narasimha, who was scratching his head in confusion, to construct a huge shelter out of some of the nearby fallen tree logs. They somehow managed to make it out of the storm without much trouble.
The very next day, a fever which has been recurrent on this island, broke out because of the stagnant storm waters. Some of the locals died of it. They were buried under the watchful eye of Krishna and the tribe learned to grieve the loss of their tribe-members instead of reverting to cannibalistic nature.
As the days went on…the tribesmen started understanding the niceties of the mango and the shelter. Thota, being kind, started collecting fruit from all over the island, planting some seeds under the careful guidance of Chaitanya. He also thought the skill to some of the tribesmen. Chaitanya ordered Narasimha, “Stop picking your nose…you fool.....build some more shelters for these poor people.” "Buildie ve Buildi ve” flocked the locals around Narasimha.
As the island prospered, so did the needs of the people. There came a petition before Chaitanya to do something about the matter of disposing the human wastes. He planned and built an elaborate web of drains using Narasimha and some of the locals and handed them the responsibility of maintaining the sanitary situations regularly.
The locals started acknowledging the intelligence of Chaitanya. They started calling him Lord to show their respect. They became fond of Thota, the food-gatherer and Narasimha, the builder for their selfless help.
One day, one of the locals approached Krishna and asked in confusion "Kirshaji, Me hav two eats I can eat in my hands......Me in lefty hand has a mungu......Me heard murmur offff how tasty the thing at my rit hund iz" ....and produced a bloody muscle in front of Krishna. Krishna jumped iin horror and asked, "What in the Dog's piss is this?". the local clamly told," krishji not worry...it iz cha ambellcal curd me cut offf a nu burn booby" (You don't have to worry. It is the umbilical chord of the new born baby that i cut of recently). Krishna out of pure fear chased away the local.
Having no other work to do, Krishna started wondering, “If I don’t bring some sense of right and wrong, fear and awe in the tribesmen's hearts, they will start pillaging and will go back to cannibalism. I won’t allow that. May Dog have mercy on me for the lies I have to create for their sake.” He started thinking on how best he can manipulate the locals using their faith in the DOG. He studied the local herbs furiously and found a cure to the fever that killed some of the tribesmen during the storm.
Having no other work to do, Krishna started wondering, “If I don’t bring some sense of right and wrong, fear and awe in the tribesmen's hearts, they will start pillaging and will go back to cannibalism. I won’t allow that. May Dog have mercy on me for the lies I have to create for their sake.” He started thinking on how best he can manipulate the locals using their faith in the DOG. He studied the local herbs furiously and found a cure to the fever that killed some of the tribesmen during the storm.
The day Krishna was looking for so ardently finally came when a local family brought their feverish child to Krishna and prayed, “She dying. Pray fur hur”. Krishna proclaimed loudly, “The Mighty Dog has spoken. She lives.” He gave her the prasaad (actually the cure he found for the fever) and quite "miraculously", she gained consciousness and was doing jumping jacks within days.
“Muracle, Miracle” whispered the locals, elevating the status of Krishna as the messenger of Dog.
Chaitanya, jealous of the heightened status of Krishna, proclaimed himself a direct descendant of the Dog. The locals started calling him The King Of the Island.
Chaitanya built for himself a rock structure at the top of the drop island as a symbol of his might. Krishna, who had been working furiously bringing Dog culture among the locals, started believing the lies himself and built a temple of the Dog right under the rock structure, imagining himself the holy messenger of Dog, creating elaborate yet unnecessary customs to be followed in the process of praying for Dog's blessings. Thota and Narasimha had to live among the locals to teach them the skill and work. Thota, being a sensible person, saw through the lies that were worked on by Krishna around him. Narasimha, being all body and no brains, became an ardent follower of Krishna.
A YEAR DOWN THE LINE
Descent Da Darkness
Krishna, on one of his evening philosophical thinking walks, started wondering…”People eat. People poop. When a person doesn’t eat, he dies. When he doesn’t poop, he gets sick. So it must be that food is Dog’s spit and poop, spit of The "Cat".He was so deep in complex thoughts that, he did not notice the drain in front of him and fell into it.
Meanwhile, Narasimha was cleaning a nearby drain. Upon finding Krishna, he started crying,”Guruji, You came here to visit us?” …Krishna said, “No, you idiot, I fell off into the drain. Call for some help.” ………“Oh my..my….you are covered in shit, I will throw some water on you.” and not finding any water around, started throwing the drain water on Krishna…… Krishna wailed “No, Don’t throw that drain water on me when I am still in the drain….first help me out……(Splash, Splash)……………..great…..now I am covered in shit and mud, you idiot. Now for Dog’s sake, call for help.” Narasimha, upon observing some fellow drain cleaners nearby, shouted for their help. They helped Krishna get out of the drain.
Krishna was so embarrassed by that incident that he started loathing the drain cleaners. The very thought of touching them horrified him. He started berating them for all the fallacious evil-sins they have supposedly done in their past lives, ranting on about how their job was so demeaning. Thota, who had a considerable renown by now as the helping Food Gatherer, started opposing this point of view.
One day, when the King, Chaitanya came to the temple to pray, Krishna whispered, “Dear King, The Dog has spoken to me last night. He was quite pissed off about the way you were treating those drain cleaners. The drains have "cattified" their souls, even Narasimha. I’m afraid they might revert back to eating flesh. Even Thota, being one of us is helping them overthrow your empire.”
The next day Chaitanya the King, threw his wisdom out the window and proclaimed “I hereby recognize the drain-cleaners as of the lowest ranks corrupted by The "Cat". Thota, one of the First Of The Four is charged with treason. Henceforth I charge him with ninety out of every hundred grains he produce. I declare Myself the Son Of the Dog, Krishna, the Royal Advisor of the Kingdom.”
FIVE YEARS INTO THE FUTURE:
What more can there be?
Time: Evening
Chaitanya looking out the window at the ocean, with pride at the Kingdom he created, completely at peace, “A perfect world. A perfect gift to my Kinglings. I wonder what is on the other side of the sea……”
Krishna, on one of his philosophical thinkings, in a palanquin this time, examining a yellow golden rock, wondering, “What if The Dog intended to create a solid base for the concept of the exchange of goods????”
Narasimha, calming his weeping child in the dark drain, where he was forced to settle, was thinking, “What have I done for the mighty Dog to have punished me like this?”
Thota, in tattered clothes, hard at work, looking at the sky with eyes so intelligent, yet so sad, moaning, “When is the rain going to come??? If only the tribesmen havn't wasted so much time praying to Dog and help me dig the underground water.......”
My Explanation:
Since not much debate over the opinions stated here was done( I mean a single person trying to emulate different viewpoints cannot produce much qualitative conclusions, i guess), most of the concepts involved would look a little bit polar in nature.
Since not much debate over the opinions stated here was done( I mean a single person trying to emulate different viewpoints cannot produce much qualitative conclusions, i guess), most of the concepts involved would look a little bit polar in nature.
- The character i used were taken from my own name.
- Thota in telugu means-a garden , calm, pleasant and wise,
- Narasimha- A beastly god with raw power but no self-personality,
- Krishna- Well, the ultimate manipulator in our old stories,
- Chaitanya- A kingly name :P , coz its my name
- Tried to provide a theory on how the concept of the division of class came out to be…how ridiculous the reason for the initial division of the people might have been….the one who was a little bit more intelligent, became the king taking advantage off others…….the one who could manipulate the most, created something completely abstract out of something that never even existed in the first place…..the one who was kind got punished, standard in any sucking story…………the one who was stupid suffered the worst becoming the least touchable.
- Anther subtle element I used was the gradual improvement in the language of the locals as they become more cultured and systematic.
- The concept of something unseen watching over us, punishing and helping us when necessary is so appealing. The existence of god came out of just a bunch of coincidences acting at the oddest of times which could be explained by assuming the presence of an unknown entity.
- Now comes the problem of supporting that concept. The sense of godliness would simply collapse without a concept of something complementing it. Helping others selflessly, would not stay an act of god unless there is another act like harming others for a selfish cause, shown as a bad act. Eating flesh off dead people is considered a bad thing; not eating, a good thing. Upon associating this with the concept of a mysterious entity…….gives us the sense of a god and a devil.
- In my belief, the concept of Hinduism is based on the sole concept of possibility of rebirth. The core of Hinduism, from what I have read states the existence of the possibility of a reincarnation where the deeds of our current life will be balanced out. We, (I mean I) really need to appreciate whoever proposed this theory for his pure intellect as reincarnation cannot be really challenged nor can it be proven conclusive.
- In my belief, the heroes of our legends couldn't have become famous if not for the existence of their counter-parts. The story of the exiled prince wouldn't look so pure without the existence of the "demonic king" RAVANA. Without the existence of an ANTI-CHRIST and the Portraying of the ruling authority as oppressing and dominating, during his time, Christ would never have garnered such a following. Allah would never exist without the support of SATAN. Though I am not sure, Buddhism couldn't be accepted by the people so readily because it doesn't have a smelting stick ready to burn the backs of those who stop believing it.